Seem to have gone into a coma today. Dont know what happened to mid morning. One minute I was eating fairy cake mixture, then the next I was eating fairy cakes and about four hours had passed!
I can see why prisoners are put in solitary, its driving me crazy! It wouldnt be so bad if there was something decent on TV but, after flicking through about seven hundred channels and landing on Bid-Up TV, I realised I was turning into Homer Simpson so switched off. Its more fun to stare at the wallpaper. After a while, I'm sure I can see an outline of the virgin Mary! I may tear that piece off and sell it on e-bay!
Still, im exercising my leg, and not getting far. Perhaps I should sue paracetamol manufacturers, their so called pain killers definatly are not! Renaming them useless chalk lumps that stick in your throat may be a more apt description.
I can feel my coma coming back on, and the wallpaper beckons.
Ta Ta

This is the worst day ever!!!
Leg is killing me, also have raging toothache! Painkillers not sure which direction to take so have decided to give no help to either area!
I have lost my daughter!!!!
She has gone off for five days on one of those school trips so the house is as quiet as a morgue!
I now only have hubby and youngest here, both of whom are stuck to the tv. There is more noise coming from the snoring cat!
There is nothing on the telly and everyone on twitter is ignoring me! I shall go watch a DVD. Something to take my mind off the throbbing leg and tooth. I think its a choice between The Dark Knight, or Casino Royale. No I think I will watch Zombies Dawn of the Dead. Sorted. Goodnight.

What happened to yesterday? So bored could barely keep my heart beating! Doesnt help that my leg just wont behave. Now the knee is painful so cant bend without yelping. Kids find that extremly amusing, so just sitting doing nothing.
I was going to rant yesterday about train journeys and 'quiet carriages', but I havent been on a train since 1989, thank god, cos its cheaper and more comfortable to fly.
Instead I will do something very British... Moan about the weather. Its cold and I hate the cold! Central heating on full blast, blanket surrounding my lower body, and still both leg and foot freezing.
Where is the sunshine? The wind has changed direction, but its still cold. More to the point, where's the global warming? Up in the arctic? Maybe I should book the next holiday there!
Cant book a holiday yet as last time we had a broken leg in the family, the airlines refused to take us, on the grounds of health and safety!!? What did they expect? Plane starts to crash and plaster cast becomes wedged in the escape hatch!! Perhaps they thought there was an arsenal of weapons stashed in the cast! Possibly now would be charged 'extra baggage allowance' for the weight!
I shall wait till Christmas, then book one of those 'granny' holidays. Twelve weeks in Benidorm, send the kids back every so often for school. Drinking Sangria and playing Bingo with a load of deaf Northeners. Heaven!

Well, bored to death today!

Where to start?
First memory?
Ok, that would be me being bounced down 13 flights of stairs in the pram! We may have moved into a brand spanking new block of flats but that didnt mean the lift would ever work! Funny though cos we lived there for about eight years and my overriding memory is of being bounced down 13 flights of stair then pulled back up them after shopping. I was wheelchair bound quite often as I used to break my leg twice a year. My mum used to have arm muscles like Arnold Swarzenegger!
Having had no previous cases of brittle bones in our family, noone expected me to break my legs. In fact, doctors used to either move my leg up and down, telling me I had cramp! (Until the screaming told them otherwise). Or they tried to get me to grass up my parents as child batterers! Good old fashioned Queen Elizabeth Hospital, they really knew their stuff!!
This went on for a few years until I acutally broke my leg while in a hospital having a check up for a previous break! That showed them. No one could say my parents did it cos I was skipping into the department at the time.
Well doctors being the brainy sort with extensive knowledge of everything , (but not in those days)! decided to send me to Great Ormond Street Hospital. Operations were planned and metal pins were inserted. The doctor was a nice guy, but I think his stitching skills were taught to him by Dr Frankenstein, still in those days infections were unheard of so I was plastered up and sent home.
(The above post is extremly boring so I am off to think about how to make my next one a little bit interesting and/or funny).

You know, when you can break a leg, without any warning, life becomes a bit of a minefield!
Do I run for a bus? is not an easy question to answer. If I run, I may bust my leg in mid stride, fall screaming onto the floor, look a complete fool to all and sundry, miss the bus and about three months of work, have to quit smoking while I spend days in hospital, an finally spend time at home, bored out of my brain while leg heals.
On the other hand do I miss the bus, wait in the freezing cold and rain for another while being targeted by knife carrying eight year old and his drugged up mum who are loitering at the bus stop?
Take a chance and run I say! Ive been taking a chance all my life and so far it has payed off magnificently.

Wow! Leg is beginning the resemble a leg, instead of a balloon. Happy days! Shall try using crutches today instead of wheelchair. Bit late though cos now the whole house needs redecorating as there are scratch marks about five inches above the floor, where my wheelchair footplate catches when I move! Also all the doors have dents in them where I bash them open.
Still, im feeling a bit better so I may start adding a bit of my life story on here for posterity, later though cos I'm in need of a cuppa!

Very tired. Knew I shouldnt have tried to change the beds without help. How the hell does any disabled person actually manage if they dont have help?? Exhaustion set in after one single and half the double, let alone the king size! Still Hubby to the rescue, (As usual).
Now I know theres no one reading any of this blog but if anyone does pop in for a read and can get past all my boring monotonous droning, could they let me know if I can change this blog so the postings read downwards instead of upwards. I mean, whoever read a book from the bottom of the page upwards? Its getting on my nerves. I shall go and look up the help page, anything rather than watch the rubbish my kids have got on! Green Green Grass! Could have been funny but sadly is not!

So excited! I have more than one person following me on Twitter! Am I sad or what? They obviously dont know who I am and will disappear in the next couple of hours, but its cheered me up no end so thank you to the three who follow me!

Woke up feeling a bit better for a change. Decided to change all the bedding while hubby was out shopping! Big mistake!! Was okay with the single bed, it only took about fifteen minutes. The double bed nearly killed me, as I had to manouver the bedding off and on while sitting on the bed. Managed to do pillows and bottom sheet but quilt cover had a mind of its own! Im sure it was trying to eat me! The quilt was staticky and I kept getting electric shocks. Must be all the metal work in me leg! I gave up after half an hour, out of breath, aching arms and throbbing leg! Hubby finished off then went and did the king size bed for me. What an angel!
Now sitting here bored to death! Back aches, leg hurts, arms gone a bit wibbly! Think I will take a hour off and go watch 'The Dark Knight' again.

So, I was forced out of house because of meeting with school. A meeting that could have taken five minutes over the phone but took 45 minutes travelling, getting in and out of car etc! My leg has decided to become agrophobic, any outside adventure makes it swell up! Still, daughters allowed on her 'growing up' trip next week once we ironed out the details. Lets hope it doesnt rain or her wheelchair will become bogged down and the pot holing and absailing will be a bit icky!
Spent the afternoon trying to think of a good response to Stephen Fry's competition but as usual ballsed it up by putting in the wrong number of 'L's. Another competition I wont win, still never won anything so it wont make a difference!
Now Hubbys taken over the 'putting clothes away after their ironed' malarky, (I cant get to the wardrobes!), I cant find anything to wear. Think he's put all my stuff in the kids wardrobes. I might wear some 'My little pony' socks tomorrow with a spongebob squarepants t-shirt. Those are all I have left, (Bet you thought I was wearing my kids clothes!!) Ha Ha.

Meeting today! Yes, I have to go out. Just got over the other day, had a hot water bottle taped to my leg last night and swelling has receeded.
Two weeks recouperation and now everyone thinks i'm fine! Lucky the swellings gone down otherwise would have turned up in baggy boxer shorts cos I couldnt get trousers on yesterday!!

Well what a great day yesterday was! Spent most of last night with a balloon siz leg, as it swelled up and was extremly painful. I have to go out, and cant leave my leg behind, so it will have to get used to it!
Better take it easier today, or I wont be able to get my trousers on cos my leg is extremly fat! Perhaps where im sitting on my a**e all day makes the food travel down to my left thigh!
Only five weeks to my hospital appointment so will try to stay alive till then.

Managed to get out of the house for a while, went to Sainsburys. Took five minutes to get in the car then had to hold onto my leg for dear life as we went over every speed hump and pothole in London!
Ive waited two weeks to go to the shops and as expected, when I got there it was crap as usual! Why is it whenever anyone is in a wheelchair, they seem like a magnet for the mental people that work there? No one would normally talk to me, but once confined to this metal monstrosity, every looney wants to stop and tell me their life story!
Im trying to look at the cat food, get stopeed and told how a large puddle stopped looney from getting to work dry this morning! What??? I dont bloody care, it was raining anyway so its bleeding obvious you are gonna get wet!
Im trying to work out whether I need a new 'digital' iron for twenty quid or make do with the manky, brown dripping useless 'analogue'? one I already have, which is on the middle shelf, when my hubby is asked if 'she' wants help from the top shelf???!! What am I deaf and dumb now too? For christs sake I have a broken leg! Im not comatose!
Well suffice to say, im not going out for another two weeks at least cos its a bloody waste of time!
Oh, and I didnt buy the iron cos I bought some descaler for two quid instead. (Credit drunch and all!) Last time I did this I blew up the iron and had to buy a new one anyway. Lets see if the SAS videos show me how to disarm an iron!!

Time for bed, knackered as usual. Not even ten o'clock yet. I must be turning into a pensioner! Awake by seven, cats need to eat at that time, (How come I cant eat anything till about midday?) Sort the kids for school, then its my big shopping day out! Hooray. (Or not, depending on how much pain I am in).
What a sad, old bleeder I am! Night Night.

Decided i'm gonna go out tomorrow! Just cant take sitting here doing nothing anymore. Now im getting all excited - and im only going to Tesco's! Sad but true, two weeks without browsing the stores drives me crazy!
We cant go out at weekends, cos then the girls are home from school and our car is too small for two wheelchairs, so we have to share. The boot space only allows onw disabled person to go shopping at a time! Obviously need a bigger car, or perhaps a two seater wheelchair - I could invent it. One person above the other like a bus, then when we shop, the top aisles could be reached by one and the lower aisles by the other. Or I could cover myself with a blanket, then my daughter would look really tall with extremly long arms for pushing.
Woud have to incorporate a step ladder for the top deck but that should fold up with the rest of the wheelchair. Going off to draw up some blueprints!

Spent last night watching 'Ultimate Force'. The box set, which belongs to someone else. They want it back today but trying to watch 24 episodes in 2 days is unattainable! I feel like ive been indoctrinated into the SAS!
Good job im confined to this wheelchair otherwise I might just have camouflaged myself up and 'took someone out' Ha Ha Trouble is you would hear this chair creaking before I got close enough to administer the 'One thumbed, neck manouver'. It took me 20 minutes to get out of the bath so my next victim would probably have to be in a coma if I have any chance of success!
I remember when I was a kid I could use crutches without falling over. Those crutches were like light sabers, Or pump action shot guns, whichever took my fancy. I could hop across the room, fire off a few rounds, whack me dad over the head with them and still have time to escape up to my bedroom. Now it takes forever to manouver through a doorway!

Morning all, been up hours cos my leg is quite painful, and the cats were jumping about on the bed with their legs crossed. Either they needed to pee, or were learning to Riverdance!
I tried to be quiet and not wake anyone else, but this wheelchair has put on weight and cant get through any doorway without smashing into things! Still, been up a while and the kids havent come in so they must be having a lay-in.

I also seem to have picked the only month where the tv listings are absolutly rubbish. There are only so many Spongebob Squarepants episodes I can take, and they seem to be on an endless loop!
The kids memory for cartoons seems very short, they can watch the same episode within an hour and still say they have never seen it before. Likewise Husband, whose memory for 1943 black and white war films is on a par with the worst case of Altzheimers!
None of them like horror films so I have to find a time when they are not about to watch something I like! Did manage to catch 'The Mist' yesterday which wasnt bad, but now having to suffer yet another episode of 'Hannah Montana'!!!!!!!!!!! God give me the strength to up and walk??? OOOOWWWWWW he's not listening!

You'd think a broken leg isnt much trouble, but its pretty annoying when you cant even reach the fridge to get the milk out for a cuppa! Good job i've got 24 hour home help (Husband)!
I used to be so good at breaking legs and managing, back in the seventies and eighties when I was a kid, but now i'm out of practice so any task takes blooming ages!
The worst thing is I never seem to be warm! Always sitting freezing, whether the central heatings on full blast or not. Being ill must be quite a strain on the environment! All that wasted heating making a bigger hole in the ozone layer. Maybe I shall put another blanket on me to save a polar bear.
Ive been given a walking frame by the hospital to help with getting back on my feet and exercising, but whenever i'm using it, my kids call me 'Racing Granny' and i puts me off a bit! Still it beats running the cats tails over when i'm in the wheelchair - they never move, just wait for me to pass by. The scream is horrific, i've only done it once but now I wait for them to move cos it sounds dreadful! But its okay when they jump on the bed in the middle of the night and try to curl into a ball on my broken leg!!! I can scream louder than the cats!

Hi all, this is my first post on any blogging site. The reason being is for the first time in twenty nine years, I have a broken leg and am stuck indoors with sod all to do.
Been here for 11 days now and although the world wide web is vast, it gets a bit monotonous after a while so I thought I would try writing a blog to see if it cheers me up a bit.
The leg break thing wasnt an accident, unlike the other 26 broken legs i've had over my lifetime, no, this was an enforced break. The doctors must have really had a great day smashing my leg to bits cos its hurts like hell now!
They dont plaster you up anymore either, so i'm expected to be up on crutches immediatly (Yeah right!)
It didnt help that after my operation the doctors thought I had DVT, (Deep vein Thrombosis) and frightened me half to death telling me I probably only had 24 hours left to live!! Luckily they were fibbing and I am still here....Or am I?
I could possibly be dead and living in an alternative universe but thats a different story!