So, yesterday was Valentines Day! I wouldn't have known if hubby hadn't bought me a card. And flowers! He such a romantic, whereas I can't be bothered with that sort of stuff, if you're married then its bloody obvious you're in love aint it? Plus why waste money on cards and flowers when you can get a double vodka in for the same amount of money!
So off we all went to the local club we just joined. Cheaper beer than a pub, with two tellies. One showing the footie and the other showing the horse racing. A darts board, pool table and an neon exit sign for the blind smokers! What more do you need?
We started drinking at one, so by the time we'd been told there was an Elvis night nine hours later it was out of the question as;
1. We would have been so drunk by then that we would have needed sleeping bags.
2. I hate Elvis and would have thrown things at him if I'd had to sit through it!
3. Kentucky Fried Chicken was needed as you can only survive on packets of crisps for so long.
If we had left our seats for food, by the time we had come back only standing room would be left.
Lets face it, standing at the back of the bar, listening to a guy in white flairs and shades murder Blue Suede Shoes is not my idea of a valentines day!
Ive never understood the appeal of Elvis, but then I grew up in the Seventies where we had more rounded hero's, like Gary Glitter. So who am I to judge!
So home we came where Valentines day was rounded off perfectly, Raiders of the Lost Ark, chocolate, and bed! Heaven. Considering its also our anniversary, the day we met, I really should put a bit more effort into it! Oh well there's always next year!

Do so miss Vodka.
Ive abstained from alcohol for the past few weeks simply because my balance isnt up to much with a broken leg. Trying to use crutches at the same time as being pissed out my head was a definate no no.
The Smirnoff sat on the shelf, above the bar, looking at me forlornly. Im sure it called my name a few times last night during an episode of CSI. But I was good, ignoring its pleas to be mixed with some cola, although when the tv signal disappeared half way through with the murderer about to be unmasked, I seriously considered smashing the tv with the vodka bottle thereby killing two birds with one stone.
Instead I went off to bed, none the wiser at how Living channel can shut down in the middle of a programme. Is this the future of the digital age? NO SATELLITE SIGNAL BEING RECIEVED is the new test card! There was no storm. No cranes in view, (Two of the excuses I've recieved in the past) and all the other channels were working so what the fuck happened to the CSI team?
Ok, I know there aren't many programmes worth watching these days, but it would be nice to think you may get to see the entire programme you've tuned in to watch. It was bad enough missing that goal the other night but CSI? Thats a travesty!
When we all had analogue, programmes ran ok as long as your aeriel pointed in the right direction, but now we are in the technical age, a cloud can fuck up your viewing!!! Amazing and extremly annoying at the same time. Is each customer given twenty missing programmes per year?
In future maybe we can choose when our signals disappear. I would prefer anytime Lorne Spicer or Christiano Ronaldo are on screen, two people who I would vote for on 'Celebrity Sniper'. What a show that would be. It would run for years on my choices alone, but wouldnt be good for Manchester United, or The Labour Party!

Been stalking people on Twitter today. Not actually replying to them, just following their conversations, which is quite creepy when you think about it!
Daughter has settled in to a box set of 'Friends', so it gives me time to do things. But as i'm a lazy git, sitting in front of a computer for 8 hours typing and reading is, in my opinion, a good way to exercise responsibly!
I did try to make some important phone calls, but as the first one took two hours, I gave up for the day.
I noticed that quite a few 'twitterers' are extremly odd anyway so I fit in okay, and as I have more than 13 followers, i'm happy. (I was stuck on that dreaded number for about a week!) There always seems to be a few who just reply to celebrities in the hope a long lasting friendship will blossom. Unfortunatly most celebs on twitter just want to advertise their programmes or saleable merchandise. That or brag about who they've just spoken to! Or what 'freebie' they got in the post!
God knows why Stephen Fry wants 100,000 people messaging him 'Good morning!' Perhaps he's lonely?
Well there's only two weeks to go till I should be up and walking again, my boredom level is dropping quite quickly with Twitter and Arsebook, so I will be able to get out of the house and try living in the real wotld again! But only till September when the hospital breaks my leg again to fix the bottom bit, then I will be raring to go at trying to get Stephen Fry to 'tweet me! Ooh er missis!

Ive been looking at other peoples blogs and trying to work out:
1. How come they are postitioned well, and have some nice pictures on them?
2. Why they are so much funnier than anything I can think of?
3. Why none of these people are famous tv personalities as they would be far more entertaining than most of the crap on tv at the moment, (Except for Supernatural, obviously, and Harry Hill).

Its quite difficult writing a blog when you can see each slow boring sentence coming together, without a hint of professionalism, correct spelling or laugh out loud moments!
Perhaps that what blogging is all about? All these extremly funny posts have got it all wrong and should be writing for Cracked magazine, but instead they are stuck here with me, who may win Comatose woman of the year award if I stay like this for much longer!
In fact that may well be why I cant remember half of what I did in my lifetime. I was (and still am) so bloody boring that even I dont want to remember. Good news really cos I figured I may have Altzheimers, but no, just one of those sad bastards you dont want to sit next to at a party!

All those accidental broken legs when I was a kid was really people kicking the shit out of me so I would get sent off to hospital instead of ruining their day! Well tough! Now I know i'm gonna hunt you all down on Arsebook.
Friends Reunited? Rename Potential suicides reunited.

Been a bit busy this week. What with my broken leg, now my daughters broken leg, its like a disabled convention. Still she's enjoying going BEEP BEEP BEEP like a reversing lorry every time she backs down the hall. Just a shame that this home is hobbit size - neither of us have knuckles left after scraping them off passing through doorways.
We are thinking of going out to the shops soon, but need to make sure we dont injure any passers by. Their eyes may just pop out of there heads looking at two wheelchair people instead of just one! Amazing how all prejudice barriers are being broken down except for disabled people who cannot sue for being stared at! I shall look into this, could be a millionaire by the weekend!

Its been a bad time since I last blogged.
Cant say much more at present except im still fuming at how an organisation which is supposed to take care of children can force a child with a broken leg to go pot holing and be forced to walk while in extreme pain! Disgusting! At no time informing parents of any accident.