Where did the Summer go?

Only three days left till the kids go back to school, (sob, sob). One starting secondary, the other still in primary and it appears to me that, for the first time ever, summer didn't actually appear this year!
OK the actual holidays began, but the weather went elsewhere which was so annoying because it was so hot in March and June and will probably be boiling in October! But, just when you need it, the sun buggers off. Now I find global warming a bit crap to say the least, but I don't see any boffins telling us to change our summer holidays to some other season, although I did read somewhere we should have more than four seasons in the year, but I think this was some loony in Australia.
We took our annual week away last week, the final week of August, supposedly the hottest part of this country's year. But alas, Mr Sunshine also took his holiday at the same time, leaving us up North with gales, rain and five million Liverpool supporters! (I always thought Liverpudlians went to Ibiza but they obviously go to Blackpool now - recession!)
Now I like Blackpool. Although I would have preferred Spain, Turkey or Greece but, with disabilities weighing us down, travel insurance costs three times the price of a decent foreign holiday so this year England was our only option.
I like tacky holidays! There I've said it. But I mean that in the nicest possible way. Piers, donkeys, arcades, bingo, tons of sugary rock, entertainment on a par with the worst of Stars In Their Eyes - I find it all so appealing. The trouble is I find overly expensive pricing, terrible food, rude and nasty children, traffic jams and NO SUNSHINE absolutely horrendous and this year we got it all.
I always remember going on holiday as a kid, to Sandown on The Isle of Wight, and the best thing about it was the travelling. Bus to Waterloo Station, followed by a major dash down the platform with suitcases in tow to get any seat available on the crowded train! Followed by another mad dash to get to the ferry before it filled up, then finally another mad run to get the tube train round the Island. Mum, Dad and me dashing about with about a thousand other holidaymakers, all carrying buckets and spades, dinghy's, bags of all sizes and colours and babies. All so we could have a peaceful weeks R&R ready to do it all again for the trip home.
Now we have a car and by next year we will need to upgrade to a lorry as four cases and two wheelchairs, plus people do not fit into a Chevrolet, no matter how hard you squash it in!
Losing one wheelchair was the only option and I made do with crutches after stating, quite categorically, there was to be no major walking trips while away.
Now if any of you have ever been to Blackpool, you will know how the beach stretches for a zillion miles and parking there is not something the council allow! Also trams will only allow wheelchairs if there is room and they can be folded up, otherwise, 'tough', as I was informed by one wonderful conductress.
So most of the time was spent on one pier, where jugs, (4 pints) of watered down Fosters or Carlsberg went for £9.50. Hot dogs in stale bun cost £3.00. Any ride on the pier cost £4.00 and not one single bar sold Smirnoff!
Having, on a previous trip, sampled The Blackpool Tower, Ripleys Believe It Or Not, The Pleasure Beach and The Doctor Who Exhibition we decided on the Zoo and was, for once, pleasantly surprised. On our one day of sunshine, Blackpool Zoo was the highlight of the week. How come ring tailed Lemurs dont get red eye?
The rest of the week we were 'entertained' by the staff of Haven. If thats what you call it! Itinery went something like this;
All morning; Nothing
All Afternoon; Nothing
7.30 pm Bloke in a costume making you pay to take photos of him.
8.30 pm One mad woman forcing children to eat as many flying saucers as possible till they were sick.
9.30 pm Bingo
10 pm Fat greek bloke singing Boyzone 'classics' while staff stop anyone from dancing below the stage as it may 'Put the entertainer off'!
10 30 pm No idea, as we had gone into a coma by then.

Suffice to say the kids puking competition was a good laugh but the rest was dire! At least until three jugs of beer had been consumed, then it was all thoroughly good fun.
Dont let me put you off a little trip to Blackpool, I am prone to exaggerate somewhat, and guess where I'm booking now for next year???!!!












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