Still here?!

Well as the title says, I'm still here. Though whether that is a happy, or not title depends on your point of view.
My operation went well, in fact I was in and out in less than six hours, but only because 30 minutes after my op I was stuffing myself with tea, roast beef, Yorkshire pud, roast potatoes and gravy. Followed by steamed orange sponge pudding with custard. Gorgeous it was too! Having the nurses hovering with one of those cardboard sick buckets didn't even put me off!
Hubby arrived to pick me up and home I went. Mind you if I had wanted to wait for some pain killing medication, I would still be there now, but I knew I had some at home, (It goes by the name of Smirnoff in our first aid cabinet,) so I did a runner, or hopper on my crutches, and got home in time for tea.
Mind you, that was five weeks ago and I'm still using crutches because my leg is stubbornly refusing to grow some more bone! Not much else to do now except wait.
So while I've been waiting we all seem to have come down with swine flu! It started with my youngest daughter, who never seems to become ill. We all went off to the beach on one of those sunny days and although I scouted for Mexicans, (watching for short, fat, sombrero wearing, moustached gunslingers), it seemed clear. Obviously one was disguised as a short, fat, eerily white with red blotches, sock and sandal wearing lager swilling day tripper, cos there were loads at Walton!
For ten days now she has been on antibiotics for her throat infection which has now turned into an ear infection, and although we have had two trips to the GP, it seems she has 'Seasonal flu'!
Now I may be wrong here, but I assumed our flu season started in October and finished in January but apparently not.
Now I have it too, as spending every night sleeping with an infected puking, coughing, crying child is not a good idea but it is what mothers do, especially when they think the world of their kids. I, apparently, do not need antibiotics yet, as obviously they are only given out when anyone is close to death. Also being British, I did not want to show any fear of a silly virus by asking if I should be tested. So meekly I left the GP, and am riding out the storm with some honey, lemon and paracetamol. I am also looking on the bright side, as if it is Swine flu, I will be immune when it comes back in the winter, thereby guaranteeing myself a chance of being first in the queue for shopping, first on the list for (decent) rehousing and possibly a chance of a GP appointment on the same day of asking. Perhaps even a dentist appointment!
Sadly the opposite will be true. A 28 Days Later scenario with swine flu zombies and deserted streets. Which to my mind sounds even better as we can take the kids to Chessington without paying a months salary entrance fee!
Roll on Christmas!

Been doing my best to get up and walking proper for the last couple of weeks, owing to my appointment at hospital. Still quite painful even though I should be better by now. Still the doc put me right on Tuesday last when he happily told me my leg isnt healing at all.
"The only option is to have another operation, taking out part of the pin holding your leg together. This will cause the bone to squish together, (His words, not mine!) thereby fixing it! "
"Ok", says I, thinking I would be waiting ages. But no says Mr Frankenstein, I have a clear slot next Thursday. Don't worry about the normal tests that are done to make sure you are okay for surgery, just get here for 06.30a.m and don't eat anything.
I don't mind the starving bit, I hate food and can go days without eating. Trouble is I'm one of the lowest of the low! Yes, I am a smoker! So yet another stay in a virtual prison, (You cant just go outside anymore, you have to walk off the grounds to light up)!, is so depressing. Last time I gave up completely for three days and I will do so again but when you are stuck on a ward, bored to tears and missing your family, decent food, alcohol, sky sports channel etc the last thing you need is to be gasping for a ciggy too!
I think hospitals need some sort of drive-Thru option, or the option to sleep in your own car. Its still legal to smoke in a stationary car isn't it?
Mind you, smoking seems to be the least of my problems. After all there will probably be thousands of pig flu sufferers wandering the corridors like a zombie invasion by then. (I thought I'd come down with it after my appointment the other day, but luckily I realised I'm allergic to the three new pets my kids have). Also theres the chance of MRSA or another blood clot episode. Hopefully I wont end up like the poor bloke who was left for 3 days dead in the toilet, but then I wouldn't put anything past the hospital that still shows off The Elephant Mans bones to all and sundry.
As you can tell I'm so looking forward to it. What with reading about hospital food on Cyberkim's blog, I believe McDonald's to be the only food to have while convalescing, normally at about 1p.m. That does me for the whole day usually.
So, if I havent posted again for months after Thursday, I will come back to haunt the internet, hopefully destroying the spellchecker, thereby ruining the lives of millions of illiterate internet users!